That's What I Thought
by ishouldbewritingmyessay
Summary: Marshall Lee recounts his interactions with Fionna and how she changed the way he thinks about life, love, and the people around him. Chapter 2: The first time Marshall met Fionna and Cake, there was butt touching.
1. Chapter 1

**Tell me what you guys think. Or whatever. I'm going to post this up on tumblr once I can get a chance. My username is themilkisnogood. Also, it's not proofread yet, but will be tomorrow. The episode I based this chapter off of was "Marceline's Closet". I also plan on writing out genderbent versions of other episodes with Marshall Lee in it. Hang tight, because romance won't come super quickly in this one.**

"Take one for a new concept album based on 500 years of my journal entries." Or half my life, whichever way you wanted to put it. "So here's some preliminary notes. I...I wanna make this the most emotional album ever. So private and secret, that I'll never let anyone hear."

That never happens. Everyone's secrets are revealed eventually. Even if I never tell anyone, someone may come upon my journal. If I had an expiration date, I'd be sure to destroy it right before the very end.

"No one can ever hear it. Ever!" Someone could be listening right now. I felt eyes on me, but ignored them. There was a particularly large spider in my closet who might just be feeling curious. "Take one."

I turned on a solid, simple beat and then shifted my bass in my lap, starting to strum along with the rhythm as I struggled to turn my journal entries into song.

_Hello Journal, it's me_

_It's been awhile since we talked,_

_about my life and stuff._

_Let's start with my feelings about my friends._

_Oh, wait, I don't have friends._

Man, what a sad little life I had lived. It took me a thousand years to make friends. Even most anti-social people can manage to make one friend in a lifetime. Reading these journal entries almost made me feel a little sick. On the one hand I was happier with friends, but on the other, I remembered just why I had abstained from making any for so long. Who could ever relate to me? Nobody lived as long as I did-nobody would. One day, Fionna, Cake, and even that prissy Gumball would all be gone.

Well, maybe not Gumball. He was crazy with those experiments about immortality. If he really wanted to live forever, he could just offer me that handsome pink face to drink. It would be sweet to have that flamboyant pansy asking for my help. I'd probably just shoot him down and laugh at that disappointed face of his. Or maybe play a prank like I did on Fionna and that fuzzball and make him just think he was a vampire. Only Prince Gumwad would probably be smart enough to realize what I'm up to. Whateve-!

"Oh, what?! What happened?! Ugh!" Floating over to examine the broken lamp, I hissed in annoyance. Oh, well. At least it got my mind off of those idiots. Though I was almost positive now: I was not alone.

I could guess it was Fionna and Cake. It sure smelled like them and only they would be brave enough to hide in my room. I was expecting them anyway for a jam session. One glance at my closet and the muffled noise of a terrified cat and adventurer scrambling for a place to hide sent a smirk creeping along my lips. What fun.

"Where are you?!" I growled with annoyance, knowing how those words would mess with their minds. Floating over to my closet, I opened the doors and kept my eyes straight ahead to give them a bit of space to stay out of my line of vision. I wasn't done messing with them just yet, I decided as I cheerfully twittered, "Mah broom~"

Cleaning up the broken lamp with annoyance and dramatic, irritated sounds to accompany the process, I moved into phase two of my plan. When I moved to return my broom to the closet, I dropped it against the wall with enough force for some dirt to fly up into my face and on my clothes. After a short coughing bout, I floated to my bathroom to wash up.

Oh, Fionna. I don't think that girl knew how much fun it was to mess with her. Making her cheeks turn that beautiful shade of red only humans can turn always made my day. Gum-for-balls had his handsome pink face, but Fionna's blush was rare and bright red and beautiful against her nearly white skin. It almost bothered me. She looked like her red had been half eaten and I almost had OCD about taking the rest for myself.

I never did, of course, but I still tried to bring the blood to her cheeks on every occasion possible.

And with that motive in mind, I started to slowly strip, knowing full well Fionna would attempt to escape the closet during this time and scope out the scene. Well, she could have a wonderful view of my ass then. Modesty fades after 1000 years and I had no shame in it. But Fionna would, and her cheeks would light up every time I would mention it. I'd be sure to see a lot more of that red then. Perfect.

Just as I peeled off my last sock, I saw her body appear in the reflection of my mirror. The odd girl had slithered just the tiniest bit into my bathroom. And yes, I do mean she actually slithered. She laid on the floor and watched me for a few stunned seconds before slowly squirming her way back on her belly to my closet, where Cake was waiting for an update on the situation.

Not wanting to give them too much time to plan their next escape plan, I rinsed off with warm water as quickly as possible. That was a bit of a shame to me, to be honest. If you're not dead, you probably don't understand what it's like to be cold all the damn time. Warmth is an amazing thing, and the only time I can ever feel completely warm is when I shower or bathe. Hot water reaches everywhere and I almost feel alive.

But there wasn't any time for that now. I threw a pair of boxers on and then proceeded to float over to my bed, hoping Fionna was still watching. If she enjoyed a nice view of my wet chest, then I'd have just one more thing to tease her about mercilessly. Maybe even Cake, too, though Lord Monochromicorn would probably visit me and stomp his hoofs around. It's never good to mess with a chick who's in a committed relationship like that.

Fionna, though. Now there was a girl perfect for picking on. With this thought, I turned off the lights and floated on top of my bed as if I was about to get some sleep. There was a creak from a few feet away and I knew that the jig would be up soon. I just didn't count on Fionna's rather odd idea of stealth.

"Is he awake?" Whispering. Right at the finish line. Whispering. And rather loudly, too.

Cake was on the same wavelength as me. "Why are you talking?!"

"I'm wondering if he's awake."

"Well, if he's awake, then he can definitely hear you talking!" Okay, so they're both pretty dumb.

"I'm whispering!"

"Well, now we're both quietly screaming!"

Deciding enough was enough, I sat up and inserted myself into their conversation. "I can hear both of you."

"Disguise yourself, fool!" Fionna whisper-shouted to her companion, and I could only shake my head at them in the darkness.

When I turned on the light, I almost felt sorry for them. Apparently, Cake's idea of a sufficient disguise was shapeshifting herself to look like Fionna. For the record, Fionna wasn't much better. The red lampshade on her head was less than convincing.

"What are you doing in my lair, good little girl? And fluffy friend?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Girl, I think he sees us..." Cake whispered.

Fionna tossed off her lampshade only to angrily shout, "Dude, what the heck?! You shapeshifted to look like me?!" Alright, so I wasn't the only one in the room who realized what a pitiful excuse for a disguise that was.

"Yeah," was Cake's only response before I drew their attention back to me.

"Hey!" Floating closer to the pair, I let out a hiss as I used a scare tactic on them. "Explain yourselves!" Changing my tune quickly, I floated around Fionna's back and placed my hands on her shoulders as I leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Are you so in love with me you want to hide in my closet just to watch me get naked when I shower? Pretty sketch, Fionna~"

The blonde bunny girl shoved my face away and stuck her tongue out with a disgusted noise. "Way gross, dude! Cake and I were just playing hide and seek in your house even though you told us not to. Then you came home and we hid in your closet and we, well...We saw...Everything." Ah, and there it was. Those two beautiful, red splotches on her face appeared at the thought of what 'everything' entailed. "Whatever you do to us, I just want you know that we're sorry."

"So sorry!" Cake added as she leaped into Fionna's arms for a hug, frightened even more than her sister at what I'd do to them.

"Okay. Apology accepted."

"What?" The look of shock was worth passing up the opportunity to mess with them more. I could have had them make up for their trespassing with various weird, mundane tasks for the sheer sake of screwing with them, but there would be plenty of other times.

"I hide in your house all the time." Not completely a lie. The looks they exchanged were priceless after that little announcement. "Anyway, next time you want to get a look at my hot bod, just ask!"

With a roll of her eyes and a small shove, Fionna left with Cake in tow, giving me a cheery goodbye once they were out the door and my flirtatious behavior had been forgiven.

Such a good little girl.

Later that night, I watched Fionna scratch her breasts in her red footy pajamas, containing laughter as I did so. Sometimes I forgot that Fionna was more than just any other pal. She was a chick with pretty okay breasts. They weren't particularly impressive, but she had more than my ex-girlfriend Ashley.

Whoa, Marshall. Seriously comparing one of your best female friends to an ex-girlfriend is not cool. Even if it's just about boobs, it could quickly turn into comparisons about other things. No way was I going to fall into that friend-zone booby trap. Pun possibly intended.

Still, I couldn't resist imitating an owl as she shifted her goodies, letting her know I was quite possibly still watching her-which I was, until I floated up to the roof of her tree fortress home.

Suddenly, I heard a scream come from the window to Fionna's room. I must have managed to really freak her out.

Well, good. She should stay away from me if she knows what's good for her. If she gets too close, I'll just push her away. It's hard enough being friends with mortals. No way am I about to start developing feelings and getting romantically involved with them. Blegh. Gross.

Except now that I've had this idea in my head, I can't stop thinking about it. And the more I think about it, the more I worry one of us is going to develop feelings for the other. Under no circumstances is that allowed.

At least, that's what I thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry, guys. I hadn't realized that the bots on this site don't really understand my word processor's italics and punctuation, etc. Fixing it now. I wanted to let you guys know I really appreciate your reviews! They mean a lot to me. And don't worry, I'm not just doing episodes from Marshall's point of view. I have my own original plots that will follow. Stay with me here!**

How I came to be friends with Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat is still a mystery. I don't really know why they're friends with me, considering how I met them.

_"And as they waded through the carnage, the vampire SMASHED THEIR SKULLS! Just for the fun of it!" _

_Oh, what's this? Someone telling stories about vampires? Now that's always a good laugh, considering people usually get everything wrong. But it's not their fault. Usually their misinformation comes from vampires themselves. The scarier we are, the less likely we have to worry about other races bothering us or trying to make friends. _

_"NO WAY." So two little girls had moved into my house while I was away. _

_"Yes, way, it did!" Floating just beneath the window, I pressed a pointed ear to the wood to listen better. "The vampire hunched over its victims, and breathed their vaporized bloOoOod miiiisssst~!" _

_The voice telling the story made a weird sound, like that of a troll calling for its mother, and its companion let out an annoyed, "Aw, jeez! Cake, is this stuff you're saying true? Or are you just trying to mess me up? You have to be honest!"_

_Heck, maybe it was true. It wasn't me, but I couldn't speak for all vampires. _

_ "Oh, girl, it's true. I heard it through a reliable source." _

_"Reliable, huh? Reliable…?" There was a short pause. "Rats…"_

_"Yeah! Some say it haunted this very tree…"_

_"This tree?!" _

_Alright, now that was a lie. As far as I knew, I was the only vampire to ever live in that tree house, and I would have remembered a crazy night like that. It was highly unlikely another vampire had moved in, though these two dolls had at some point. I wonder if I forgot to lock the door when I left…_

_"GoOoOod niiiiight~!"_

_"Cake!"_

_"OoOoO~!"_

_"You're full of it, Cake!"_

_Again, that strange whale-troll noise came from the first voice I had heard. Weird bunch of creatures holed up in my house. I really needed to do some cleaning and kick them out. And what better way than to terrorize them for a bit of fun while I'm at it?_

_It started to rain, and a tree branch began to tap on the window to the room where the bunny-creature was sleeping. Floating up a bit more to peek my head over the sill and get a good look at her for the first time, I followed the branch's lead and tapped out my own little hello. _

_"Huh?" Lightning struck and my face was illuminated by the flash of light, which startled the creature into a screaming fit. The little bunny tumbled off her bed and onto the ground, disappearing for the moment. _

_I followed the voices and moved to the kitchen window, observing the rabbit and cat discuss with each other. "Relax, girl! I made that up! I was trying to scare you—!" Throwing the window open quickly, then ducking out of sight before I could be spotted, I heard the feline's own scream for the first time. Man, this was too easy. _

_"No one's outside," the rabbit tried to assure her roommate, closing the window just as I entered the room through another while her back was turned and the cat was still having a heart attack. "It was just the wind, scaredy cat!"_

_"I wasn't scared! I was singing!" With a huff, the sassy kitty pulled herself back on her feet, arms crossed over her chest. "I was singing my scream song." She demonstrated with a few more short screams, and it took everything in me not to hiss in pain._

_"You're a total wuss, man." _

_Growing bored, I decided to finally make my entrance, tossing my crimson duffel bag from the ceiling and watching it as it almost hit the bunny girl on the way down. Both screamed and the rabbit clutched her flashlight tight, turning it on and shining it in my eyes. _

_With a hiss, I followed them as they fell backwards onto their couch and swiftly joined them, wrapping an arm around each of their shoulders as I took the spot in the middle. "Hey, ladies. Mind if I join you?" They were shaking and I couldn't help but smirk, a toothy smile slowly forming to reveal my sharp fangs. "I'm Marshall Lee, the Vampire King."_

_"Are you gonna smash my skull!? Or eat my blood, sir!?" Bunny asked, shaking beneath my arm, paralyzed with fear. _

_"Please don't suck our blood!" Her equally terrified friend pleaded, and I couldn't help but laugh. _

_"Ladies, ladies~" I cooed, glancing back and forth between them both. "I'm not gonna do that!"_

_With a snap of my fingers, the lights in the room flickered on. "So…You don't suck blood?" _

_"Mm…Sometimes I do. But it's not the blood I like. It's the color. I eat shades of red." Grabbing the bunny girl's chin, I pulled her face closer. To be honest, no color was better tasting than blood's. "Why? Wanna know what it's like~?" _

_"Golly!" _

_I almost spit out the strawberry's red I was snacking on. Who still even says that? But I laughed and stuffed the colorless strawberry into the girl's mouth instead, amazed as her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. Now that was interesting. Was this girl already falling for my devilish good looks?_

_No time to play around though. I _was _tired. "I'm exhausted, actually," I thought aloud, floating up from the couch and to my duffel bag, brushing some hair out of my face before rummaging through it. "I've been traveling all over the land of Aaa. And I've seen some stuff that would really make you say 'like what'."_

_"Like what?"_

_"I found a school of goldfish beasts, and I fooled around in the Fire Kingdom." With some very hot ladies, of course. The larger of my two little guests let out a noise of wonder as I floated back over to take a seat beside her. "Oh, and check these out." _

_"Nuts?" Indeed, I held about 5 walnuts in my hand. _

_Giving them a squeeze, I replied, "Oh, these aren't just ordinary nuts." When I opened my palm, the nuts had become different colors and shapes; each was a unique organism, and walked up my arm, around my neck, and down my other arm. _

_"You're wonderful!" the humanoid girl commented, laughing a bit. The compliment took me a bit by surprise, but her friend's response didn't. _

_"Yeah, uh…Thank you for not sucking our blood." Typical, but they better be thankful._

_"You guys seem cool too," I replied, though it wasn't as heartfelt as it could have been. "But as you can imagine, I'm really tired," I explained, wrapping my arms around them again. "So you two should probably get going…Unless one of you plans on sharing your bed with a vampire."_

_"…What?!" _

_"Look." With a sigh, I pointed at a picture hanging on the wall to reveal the 'ML' I had carved into the trunk of the tree when I first moved in. "ML for Marshall Lee."_

_"Oh, girl…"_

_"I carved it in this tree years ago, long before you two ladies started settling here," I explained, trying not to let my temper get the best of me. I grabbed each tighter and flew them out of my home into the rain, setting them down just outside my door. "But seriously, ladies. Thanks for keeping the place warm for me. Really great! Thanks. Goodnight~!" _

_And that was it. I left them, floating back into my old house through a window and claiming it as mine once again. There was no room for sharing no matter how much I joked. This house was mine and they were just intruders. I'd have nothing to do with them from now on. _

_The rabbit beat the door a few more times, screaming things like, "Get down here, mister! Fight me!" As if I'd waste the time and effort. _

_Maybe it seemed cold-hearted, but in my defense, I threw them a few of their things I wasn't interested in. A hammered dulcimer, a blanket, a pillow, and a jelly donut (the red now eaten away by me). The latter hit the rabbit square in the face, and I couldn't help but laugh at their pathetic forms out in the rain. _

_Better to just stay away from me. _

I'm not mean. At least, not really. I don't think I am. I'm a thousand years old and sometimes I just lose track of my moral code. I'm almost human that way.

_Unless it's totally lame like most of Lumpy Space Prince's parties, I almost never miss a good time. I may not be interested in making friends, but partying with strangers is like having a one-night stand with a chick. Just the friend version. They're my bros while we party, but by tomorrow, I could drain the red from them and not even care. _

_So when I heard about an awesome house party in this killer cave near the Ice Kingdom, I was pretty excited to go. The location was familiar to me anyway. I had claimed it for my own awhile back when I was into living with bats in caves and junk. Every vampire has that phase. _

_But when I crashed the party, it was the rabbit girl and her cat companion again. _

_Mixing in with the crowd, I danced my way over to her. She wasn't the best dancer, but she was free. She was putting her heart into each move and you could tell she was a chick who liked to dance. Grabbing her hand, I spun her and pulled her to me, watching with delight as her face turned to shock and her eyes widened. "Hey, Fionna." And that blush on her cheeks was the cherry on top. _

_Cake gasped and stopped playing her hammered dulcimer, her tail standing on end and frizzing out as she whispered, "He's back!"_

_"Pretty awesome party you got goin' on," I complimented, still having a hold on her._

_But the blonde shoved me away and pointed an accusatory finger at me, demanding to know what I wanted. Her anger was almost as enjoyable as her shock. _

_"Oh, I just wanna show you something~!" I replied, backing away toward one of the chinese lanterns hung up in the cave. Beneath it was a rock settled suspiciously on top of another too perfectly. As I lifted it, the initials 'ML' once again made themselves apparent. "This cave belongs to _me_!"_

_"What?!" the girl screamed, the shock even greater than before. _

_With a sigh, I swept my bangs out of my face. "Thanks for fixing the place up for me."_

_"You can't take our home twice!" _

_Hooking my axe bass up to a speaker, I strummed a few notes and mocked her, singing, "Yes, I caAaAaAn~!" _

_ To my surprise, the girl let out a scream and threw her fists in the air. "IT'S VAMPIRE FIGHTING TIME!" _

_But Cake held her back, and the two squabbled over whether or not to fight me. Personally, I'd rather avoid the trouble, but I was confident I'd win either way. _

Nowadays, I'm not so sure. Fionna really is strong. I'd love to challenge her for real some day, but I know she'd take it as a joke and go easy on me because she'd be afraid to hurt me. She has issues about hurting her friends.

_"Okay, Marshall Lee! I'm gonna let you keep this cave!" I almost snorted with laughter. As if she had any authority. "But only because Cake is my home, and she's way better than all your homes combined!" _

_"You know…You're right," I agreed with a smirk, my fangs peaking out from my lips. "I guess I'll take her too!" _

_"What?!"_

_The cat screamed and hissed as I grabbed her. "I'll bite her a little," I threatened as she flailed. "Maybe turn her into a zombie."_

For the record, I still don't know how to do that unless I actually kill someone first. Shame, really.

_"No!" _

_"Let go of Cake!" Fionna screamed, more angry than I've ever seen her. _

_"Make me!" I hissed, only to be surprised when the blonde slapped her sister out of my hands. _

_"You okay, dude?" she asked, clutching her beloved feline to her chest and checking for bite marks. _

_But I was angry myself now. It had been years since anyone stood up to me like that. With a hiss, I started to transform myself into a giant bat with terrible, leathery black wings. "NOBODY. MAKES ME LET GO OF CAKE!" _

_I never thought I'd ever be fighting over a cat, but there I was. _

_"I'm not scared of you!" By the way she practically jumped into my grasp, I can attest that she wasn't. She was just stupid. _

_"You're pathetic, good little girl!" I laughed, tossing her up in the air with my giant claws a few times before batting her away with the back of my hand into the hard rock of the cave. _

_But she didn't stay down for long. "You're pathetic!" she shouted, hacking an unexpected loogie in my face. That crap nearly got in my eye. _

_As I twitched with anger, the girl wasted no time. She might have actually landed a hit on me if she hadn't yelled out, "get ready for an uppercut and die" beforehand. _

_"Make me." Like a responsible, older male, I gave the little girl a slap on the bottom as she leaped through the air. It blocked her attack and I got to touch her butt for the first time without seeming like a total pervert. _

Not that there were other times I touched her butt, I mean. I don't think about Fionna's butt like that. Just, sometimes…You know, you get curious about your friend's butt. Who doesn't?

_Tossing her back down onto the ground, I loomed over her, making stereotypical vampire noises that we don't ever actually make, but people seem to think we do anyway. It's sort of become a joke to us now and we just do it sometimes anyway. I don't even know. _

_"YOUR BLOOD IS MINE!" But before I could sink my fangs into her pretty pink cheeks, I had a different set of cheeks in my mouth. Cake had attacked me, and in my frantic defense, my teeth sunk into her furry ass. _

Let me tell you that's not an experience I want to repeat.

_But the red was gone from the feline now, and I tossed her limp body aside, looking to claim my real prize. At the sight of her shriveled companion, Fionna let out a piercing scream and lunged at me. I caught her in my claws again, but this time my face got a bit too close and she managed to clobber me in my bat nose good with her fist._

_"Ow!" Bat noses are sensitive, man. "That actually hurt, Fionna…" Feigning injury at first, but soon I only laughed louder and wilder. I hadn't had to fight like this in awhile. It actually felt pretty good. _

_With a final shriek, I shrunk back down into my original form and held the blondie in my arms, placing a quick kiss to her cheek as I set her down on the cave floor. _

_That lovely, lovely shade of red. It was the first time I ever saw it as a result of my flirtations. _

I'm not in love with Fionna, but I'll admit I'm in love with the shade of red she produces. It's priceless. I want to drink it more than another other type of blood.

_"W-why didn't you just kill me…?" she asked, still confused. _

_I tuned my bass a bit and explained cheerfully, "Because that was fun! I haven't fought like that in years. Thanks, Fionna." I played a few notes, in a better mood than I had been in a long time. _

_"Fionna!" Cake came running over, apparently having recovered from the butt-biting incident. As for me, I knew I'd have cat hair in my mouth for the next few days. Bleghck. _

_"Aren't you dead?!"_

_"Nah, baby. Before he bit me I managed to shrink all my blood and guts over my thumb. See?" So that's why there wasn't even a single taste of fresh red in my mouth after that accident. _

_Coughing a bit to interrupt them, I interjected, "You two are pretty hardcore. I can appreciate that." _

_Anxiously, the two clung to each other and watched me carefully. "S-so…Does that mean we can have our old house back…?"_

_"Yeah, keep it!" Putting on a scary face, I struck another chord and added, "As a gift from me!" _

_With a hiss, I managed to scare them out of the cave and send them running home. _

And that's how I became friends with Fionna and Cake. I don't think that's how most friendships work, but that's how ours did. To be honest, I didn't consider myself their friend after that. I still don't know how it happened, but it did. Friendship isn't an easy thing to explain. It's probably even harder when you're a little screwy like me.

I'm not exactly good at keeping friends for long periods of time. Sometimes I wonder when Fionna and Cake will just be strangers to me again.

I'd better leave before they get old.


End file.
